Success?! It’s probably not your first waking thought. Maybe, like I once did, you open your eyes hoping that today, everybody will just get along without drama or ruffled feathers. Because blended families are loaded with complexities and constraints. For stepmoms, dealing with common family issues gets more complicated.

Sometimes, being a Stepmom gets discouraging. You weren’t looking for accolades when you took on this role, but you still can:

• Feel like an underappreciated outsider in your own home.
• Wonder if anyone notices all you do to keep the family functioning.
• Get tired of “ex-worries” (ex-spouse, extended family, excess criticism).
• Find disappointment creeping in when bringing family members together is like mixing oil and water.

Despite the difficulties, your family really needs you to be successful.
A lot is riding on it. When you are successful in your Stepmom role, everyone benefits. Their success, and yours, hinges on building valued relationships.

The blended family learning curve can be steep and bumpy. But success is more than mastering blended family logistics, dilemmas, schedules, or keeping everyone on track and on time. That is just one aspect of creating a functional family system. Relationships, however, require both time and space for connections to grow.

To masterfully nurture lasting relationships, your Stepmom success path must go deeper, to the heart level, where change begins. True success looks like fostering emotional, relational, spiritual, and physical wellness for yourself and your family members. It crafts times and places for everyone to belong. It creates family memories worth keeping and retelling.

Regretfully, our blended family life did not start at that healthy point. We were blindsided by unexpected conflicts and events. The advice we received was sometimes helpful and other times disastrous.

Resources for blended families from a Christian perspective were scarce, but the stigma was abundant!
I could have avoided regrettable mistakes as a Stepmom if I had someone knowledgeable and wise to advise me. I needed someone to talk to who understood my dilemmas, and my faith, and knew how to help me.

We managed to grow and learn through the struggles. Today, I say without hesitation that I am blessed to have a blended family of seven that now includes 15 awesome grandkids. Yes, becoming a Stepmom was a challenging life role change. But, it surprised me by turning into a deeply rewarding experience.

Now, I want to help Stepmoms, like you, find a better success path –
One that avoids the regrets of learning by trial and error.